Many people come in to therapy in the midst of a relationship which is causing them overwhelming difficult feelings.

This relationship might be with a parent, family member, friend or love partner, all of them are equally difficult.

The common theme is often that these relationships make them feel deeply unhappy and they are struggling to see a way out.

Therapy may be the only neutral place you can find to discuss these relationships and try to untangle their significance.

Once we can stand back with someone who is not involved and start to examine why we behave the way we do in relationships, we can begin to decide how we want to change the relationship dynamic and redefine ourselves in that relationship.

We often start off by saying “If only he would change”, but whilst we can challenge others, we can only really change how we relate to them, we can’t enforce that change on them. Much as we might want to!

It does take a lot of courage to examine ourselves in relationships, as it can make us very vulnerable, we often learn how to be in relationship through our early life experiences .

Once we have faced how we behave in relationship with compassion and love, we can change what we expect from relationships and learn to react more consciously.

As Brené Brown says:

“Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves”

In therapy we will prepare a strategy for change and review this in session, to see if it is working for you. I will support you unconditionally as you make these changes in your significant relationships.

I truly believe that it is through relationship we grow and develop, there is room for change once we face the truth, it can set us free.