Many people come in to therapy in the midst of a relationship which is causing them pain and anguish. This relationship might be with a parent, family member or a partner, all of them equally difficult. The common theme is that these relationships make them feel deeply unhappy and they are struggling to see a way out.
Therapy may be the only neutral place you can find to discuss these relationships and try to untangle their significance. Once we can stand back and start to examine why we behave the way we do in relationships, we can begin to decide if we want to change the dynamic and redefine ourselves in that relationship. It does take a lot of courage to examine ourselves in relationships as it can make us very vulnerable. Once we have faced ourselves with compassion and love we can change what we expect from relationships.
As Brene Brown says:
“Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves”